Chapter One - No exercise

Chapter Two

Journal Prompts:

What drew you to this book, to this process of self-recovery? Why now?

What parts of your life can benefit from self-awareness, better boundaries, a healthier mindset, and a commitment to well-being (please refer to the Holistic Wheel above)?

Have some fun colouring in the segments to measure how well you are taking care of yourself in certain areas. What are your intentions, meaning what do you want to see come of doing this work? For example, “I set an intention to say no where I used to say yes to honour my integrity.” What will keep you committed on this path of personal growth?

Chapter Three:

Understanding Your Attachment Blueprint Journal Prompts

Do you have early memories of being held or nurtured? By whom?

Did you experience any trauma or loss of a caregiver as an infant or young child? Or, was there a disruption in your family, such a job loss, a move, loss of a grandparent, divorce?

Was there alcohol or other substance use in your family?

Were there siblings who also needed attention from your parent(s)?

Did you really feel seen, heard, understood by your parent(s)?

As an older child, were you rewarded for meeting the needs of your parent(s)?

Did you ever experience rejection, such as the silent treatment from your parent(s)?

As an adult, do you struggle to stand up for yourself?

As an adult, do you consider other people’s feelings before your own?

Do you struggle with guilt?

Do you have difficulty trusting?

Do you have a fear of abandonment or rejection?

In what ways do you feel safe in your relationships?

Do you notice people’s energy or moods? Do you feel you need to do something about that? Are you sensitive to people’s energy—knowing when they are angry, fearful, or anxious?

If you are so inclined, you can create a visual representation of your Attachment Blueprint by coloured pencils, markers, or whatever medium you like. It is like drawing up a schematic of what you learned about yourself and how you relate to other people. It could look like a map, a diagram, or an algorithm, whatever appeals to you. Be sure to take time to process this and be very kind to yourself. The patterns you notice in your journal are ones that may still be present today.

Chapter Four

At what times did you fall into being critical or demanding of yourself?

What did you notice in your body if you were defaulting to old, conditioned ways of thinking?

Were you around particular people when you noticed this happened?

Was this tendency worse if you were hungry, stressed, or tired?

How did it feel to have this new awareness?

Chapter Five

Your Authenticity Blueprint Journal Prompts

How do you define authenticity?

Without overthinking it, can you list the important people in your life who influenced your development, both good and bad?

What milestone experiences played a role in who you have become?

Which people in your life do you see as being authentic? What makes them that way?

Which people that you may not know personally do you see as being uniquely self-aware?

At what points in your life have you felt most truly yourself? Here’s a clue: think back to when you were about 10 years old and then work up from there.

Are there any times in life when you repressed your uniqueness to meet with someone else’s approval?

What books, art, music, food, or places light you up?

When do you feel the most contented or at peace?

What do you most want people to know about you?

When was the time when you felt the most powerful?

What are your values (if you’re not sure, go to Chapter Ten where you will find a list.

Chapter Six

Self-Compassion and Compassionate Detachment Journal Prompts

How do you show up for yourself when things get difficult? Are you harder on yourself? Does your inner critic get too much airtime? Is there a pattern where if something is wrong you instantly blame yourself?

Take a moment to remember the last time you were ruminating about something you did wrong. Can you imagine embodying your “kind, wise adult self,” and responding with compassion?

If there is a difficult person in your life, can you take a step back from this relationship by seeing them from the point of view of what their pain is? You don’t have to forgive them; just consider them from a place of benevolence. Imagine giving yourself permission to not react or respond to this person other than from a removed place of honouring your right to inner peace.

Chapter Seven

Giving yourself permission to not react or respond to this person other than from a removed place of honouring your right to inner peace. Is there someone or something in your life that triggers you? Can you offer yourself a kind response and notice how that feels?

Finally, as a grounding practice, take a moment to connect with your breath, noticing each in-breath and each out-breath. As you breathe in, imagine your roots touching the floor and connecting to the earth beneath you. On an out breath, release the tension or fear or negative thoughts into the earth.earth. Be mindful of your posture. Have a strong back by keeping yourself straight but relax your shoulders. Imagine having a strong back and an open heart. Call to mind the person you wish to have a healthier relationship with or establish stronger boundaries with. Remember to breathe. Picture them and send them even a small amount of kindness. Consider what you have expected from them, and then release them from all that they may not have even been capable of giving to you. Hold yourself in loving kindness first, then direct that at them. Visualize yourself living freely and joyfully. Visualize the other person living freely and joyfully. You are letting them, and yourself, go with your blessing. You can invoke or create a statement that anchors you into this feeling, such as the Buddhist loving-kindness statement: May I be well, may you be well, may all manner of things be well.

Chapter Eight

Self-Inquiry Journal Prompts

Take a moment to create a quiet, private space for yourself. If that’s not possible, just do the best you can! Take a deep breath, feel your feet on the floor or ground, and simply focus on breathing in and out. On an in-breath, notice if you are holding tension in your body, and on an out-breath, let that area soften. What feeling goes with the tension you are feeling? Where are you noticing it? What thoughts go with that feeling? Why is this coming up now? Is this reaction serving any purpose? Is this coming from your conditioned self? Does this remind you of an earlier time? What thought feels more supportive or authentic to you? What wise action do you need to take to best support yourself?

Chapter Nine - no exercise

Chapter Ten

Honesty, Courage, Kindness, Compassion, Intelligence, Truth, Fidelity, Creativity, Altruism, Generosity, Spontaneity, Organization, Frugality, Humour, Wit, Empathy, Determination, Strength, Dedication, Equality, Nature, Advocacy, Stewardship, Cooperation, Collaboration, Silence, Equanimity, Groundedness, Transparency, Openness, Privacy, Spirituality, Religion, Education, Learning, Skill, Community, Trust, Cleanliness, Safety, Bravery, Charity, Money, Time, Energy ,Family, Connections, Tradition, Ritual, Celebration, Continuity, Reciprocity, Communication, Leadership, Freedom, Autonomy, Sovereignty, Dedication, Hard Work Using the above list, write down or circle the words that give you the strongest reaction. Why do you think this is?

This is a helpful exercise to do with a partner, or if you come into conflict with someone, to find common ground. Then, use these words to create your own Mission Statement, citing what you value and how you plan to set boundaries and relate to other people. This can also include your life plan or goals.

Chapter Eleven

Befriending Your Loneliness Journal Prompts

Did you ever feel alone or like you didn’t belong as a child?

What did you do to cope with this?

Are there still things you do today that echo this even as an adult?

What meaning do you associate with being alone?

Do you think there must be something wrong with you if you are alone?

Write down all the things that you want to do that you normally don’t have time for so that you have a plan for when you are alone.

Be intentional when you find yourself alone. How do you want to spend that time?

What ridiculous or silly thing can you do because you have this privacy?

(I dance - now you all know!)

Chapter Twelve

Nourishing and Depleting Exercise Journal Prompts

You may find a journal or calendar helpful to use with this exercise. This involves time tracking, and checking in with yourself every hour. Notice where you are and who might be with you.

What activity are you focused on? Is it energizing you or inspiring you, or is it feeling like a drain?

What people are you with? Do you feel a sense of warmth and belonging? Is there laughter? Or do you feel anxious, afraid, or like you need to have your back up?

Now, take a moment to do a quick “brain dump” about the people in your life. List their names and use the letters N or D to describe whether these relationships are nourishing or depleting. And of course, they can be both!

For a deeper inquiry, do some journaling about WHY an activity or a relationship is nourishing or depleting. Does the relationship echo a pattern from your childhood? Have you allowed someone to treat you badly? Do you go into patterns of comparison or competition in these interactions?

Lastly, and most importantly, make a list of all the people and activities that are nourishing in your life. How would it feel for these relationships to be more of a priority? Keep the list of activities that feed your soul and restore your energy in an easily visible place. When you are utterly drained, it is important to refer to your list and create time and space to do something nourishing. (Author’s note: When I finish writing this, I am heading out to the garden).

Chapter Thirteen

Reclaiming Your Body Journal Prompts

Can you recall when you first noticed your body or felt ashamed of something about your body? Most of us had a distinct point when we felt differently - usually around the ages of 10-13.

What did you learn from your family of origin or from early caregivers about it?

Was privacy important in your early years?

What did you learn about taking care of yourself and finding balance in eating and movement?

How did you develop your relationship with food? Is it your friend or enemy, or both?

Do you carve out time in your day for movement, exercise, celebration?

How does your conditioned self show up when you are thinking about your body?

Is there a more authentic and kind way you could relate to your physical self?

If you do take some time to move, notice how you feel before and after and journal about that. What do you notice?

Chapter Fourteen

Reclaiming Rituals and Celebrations Journal Prompts

What rituals and celebrations are important to you and why?

Who would you want to have celebrate with you?

If you have had an event upstaged, sabotaged or negatively influenced by a toxic individual, can you practice compassionate detachment, doing your best not to take the behaviour personally?

What daily rituals and celebrations would you like to incorporate into your day?

In what ways can you advocate for yourself about what you would like to happen on those special occasions?

If you are committed or locked into family celebrations, such as for your birthday, can you also create a ritual just for yourself?